Indian classical music is the best kind of music. It helps me fall asleep, it helps me wake up, it helps keep me regular (if you know what I mean), and it helps to keep bugs away from my patio. That’s right, a little known fact about Indian music is that it contains the exact vibrations that mosquitoes hate, which is why malaria is nowhere to be found in all of India. The malaria vaccine lobby would like you to think otherwise, lest their profits shrink, but you know what I have to say to them? Bug off!
Indian classical music has been around for thousands of years. Legend has it that it was invented by the Harappans in 3000 B.C. when they grew tired of plucking animal bones for fun and instead built a sitar and tablas to pluck and tap, respectively. Throughout those thousands of years a specific tonality and style took place which we now know and love. Indian classical music is passed on from teacher to student in an oral tradition and by rote repetition. It takes decades to become a master musician, and once one achieves that title he is not only looked upon with respect by everyone in his or her community, but also bestowed with the ultimate gift, a lifetime supply of spicy curry and an endless supply of garlic naan and lentils. The only others in Indian society who receive such rewards are heads of state and high-ranking ambassadors. Unfortunately, there is a dark side to Indian classical music as well. Those musicians who study for years but never achieve “master” status often fall victim to drugs and depression. Only the luckiest of the “castoffs” can regain their lives by attending residential drug treatment.
These are the breaks, as they say, of Indian classical music. It produces some of the brightest stars and some of the fieriest burnouts. All we can do is sit back, clap our hands, and listen to the show.
Today I was driving on the lovely Los Angeles freeways when it hit me: this was how I was going to spend the rest of my life, behind the wheel staring at taillights until everything goes black. I guess it doesn’t have to be so negative, but sometimes driving all day will do that to a person. I’ve seen it all on the freeways, people crying, people laughing, people eating hamburgers, people drinking out of flasks….all while behind the wheel of a metal driving machine that can easily turn into a deadly weapon. Fortunately, it doesn’t have to be all bad. And it’s all because of a revelation that I had while driving on the freeway!
The grand idea came to me like any other thought does when I’m behind the wheel, but this was definitely no ordinary thought. The idea can best be described as a business idea, and it goes a little something like this. Instead of taking you where you want to go my invention is for a smart car (not the brand, think of a smart phone) that will learn your behaviors and eventually it will take note of all your irrational driving decisions and correct them for you. For example, when you take the wrong turn your smart car, Scar for short, will take over driving and disable all manual controls so that you can get to your destination faster and more efficiently. But it won’t stop at driving mistakes, it will literally correct your life trajectory for you. Next time you have a bad day and are thinking about going to the local bar, your Scar will take over the driving duties and re-route you to one of the nearest drug rehab centers in Los Angeles. Why Los Angeles? Because that’s where the technology will be tested first. It’s the best city in the world and it has the best drivers in the world, so it’s only fitting that the best drivers should have the best lives. And when they do, they’ll owe it all to a Scar.
When I was a young boy there were many experiences that left an indelible impression upon my brain. Playing outside with friends from morning until night, watching cartoons in the summer, and eating delicious sandwiches. These three activities are what form the backbone of my intellectual and physical being and without them I’d be nothing more than a drab slab of flesh with no aesthetic appreciations. Although these three activities fall under the category of “excellent fun and deliciousness,” they are by no means on equal footing. Oh, no! Sandwiches almost occupy another realm of greatness that can only be perceived by creatures so attuned to flavor that they could be known as the “night bats of taste.” What does this mean exactly? I don’t know. But I do know that we, as a country, need to give sandwiches the respect that they deserve. And what better way to show our gratitude than to replace Valentine’s Day with Sandwich Saturday!
Whether or not we axe one of the lesser holidays isn’t as important to me as simply acknowledging that the sandwich is the greatest and most powerful food on Earth, and if Americans can harness its power we will remain the dominant nation for decades to come. People, I don’t do all this writing selfishly. I do it because I want everyone to feel the immense joy of a fine tuned sandwich, just like I did when I was young, not to mention the satiated feeling of washing down those luscious meats and breads with a cool, clean glass of water (though I vividly recall one summer in which our water was dangerously UN-clean, no doubt because mother failed to call a certified backflow tester).
Please excuse me if I’m rambling on like a half-crazed sandwich maniac. It’s just that I can’t contain my passion for the art form that is a sandwich. Nor can I stand idly by as inferior subjects get their own holidays while my favorite food must toil away in obscurity….relatively speaking. Anywho, if you like sandwiches please support them with passion and flavor as I do. Rise up and let your voice be heard! Or go drink some water.
So, a couple weeks ago I went on a trip with some friends to Big Sur, California. We went there to experience the lovely biodiversity as well as the huge redwood trees. The whole time we were there I couldn’t stop marveling at the majesty and size of the redwoods. It was like standing next to a mountain that was in the shape of a tree, or like standing next to a tree that drank too much milk from cows treated with hormones so now he was a big Baby-Huey-of-a-tree. I don’t know. Maybe I was drunk. We drank a lot while we were there.
Basically, my point is that these trees are too great to ever be cut down. And since they’re in a state park I think it’s safe to say that they won’t ever be cut down. However, it got me thinking about all the other little trees that aren’t protected by nature hippies who like to get drunk with trees, and it made me sad. I started thinking about all the wood we humans use, be it for tables, chairs, buildings, prosthetic limbs, mulch, hats, or what have you, and I just said to myself, “Hey, stop chopping those trees down! It’s not right!!” Then I realized…we don’t need so many wooden chairs, that’s what bean bags are for! We don’t need so many wooden tables, that’s what oil drums are for! We don’t need all that wooden mulch, that’s what all the rubber mulch in California is for (you’d understand if you lived here). You could say that I was radicalized by the redwoods.
As soon as I got home I wrote to my state congresspeople and I demanded a change. I demanded that trees be given the rights that humans have. I said that chopping down the smaller trees is akin to killing all men under five feet tall….it sounds good on paper (ironic) but it’s actually a really bad idea. My letters went unanswered, but I believe I made a connection. And if I didn’t, well, there’s always rubber mulch.
How many times have you been late to work only to realize that you can’t find your keys? I think we can all agree that this situation is highly frustrating. Well, not me! I don’t ever lose my keys because I’m organized. And I’m here to help you get to a level of organization previously unattainable by someone of your lumbering, oaf-like stature.
Step one: make a key hook for all your keys and install it somewhere that’s clearly visible when moving through the house. Step two: throw away all those used magazines. Nobody wants to read National Geographic from 1989…nothing remotely exciting happened in that year. Step three: hire a butler, preferably named Jeeves. He will be responsible for keeping track of your organization or lack thereof. He will also save you from your own misadventures, and if you’re lucky, become a lifelong friend. Step four: while holding your left hand to a day planner of the current year, take an oath to be more organized like your organized forefathers did before you. These are the four most important steps to an organized life. To stray from these laws is essentially the same as banishing yourself to a life of confused wandering among deserts of old papers, empty cat food cans, and dirty dishes. This is not living. Not by a long shot.
Some of the world’s most organized people started out as losers. Martha Stewart, John McEnroe, Martin Luther King Jr., to name a few. If you saw any of these people as young adults you’d hardly notice them under the grime and filth of un-organization. Martha Stewart, the lone daughter of Joe, a backflow prevention assembly tester and Bartha, a homemaker, rose to great heights of fame and fortune simply by adhering to the principles of the 4-step Organize method. And so can you. So don’t be a dummy, like your parents….be a smarty….GET ORGANIZED.
There are two kinds of people in this world: those who are addicted to coffee, and those that aren’t. This is exactly the kind of statement that a coffee addict would make. I am not one of those addicts and I also know that any phrase that starts out “there are (x amount) kinds of people in this world” is sure to be dubious. 2-B-doo-B-us. I like that.
Anywho, as stated above, I’m not a coffee addict. I think coffee can be tasty, but I can’t deal with the ruined-mouth-aftertaste that comes with drinking it. It’s too harsh for the fragile ecosystem that is my mouth. I prefer tea, usually of the British variety. The bad aftertaste is not my main problem with coffee, however. What really troubles me is that in their quest for maximum caffeine power, most people end up getting coffee at the major national chain stores, which offer a dizzying array of sugary sweet drinks and snacks. So what people end up addicted to are over-sweetened versions of normal coffee and tea drinks, therefore adding coffee into the heady brew that is our nation’s obesity epidemic. This is bad. I think it’s in our biology to love sugary treats. Despite this, I think that there’s a natural level of sweetness that’s tolerable before it becomes gratuitous sweetness. But everybody is different.
What should we do about it? Beats me. I can only lead by example. I wake up every morning, have a delicious bowl of lightly sweetened oatmeal with fruit and a side of tea. I walk 2 miles to the gym, walk on the treadmill for an hour and wonder about the quality of gyms in Wantagh, NY, then I walk back home and chop wood for another hour. It’s grueling, but I do it to set a good example. Whenever I walk past one of the national chain coffee shops I lift up my shirt so that everyone can see my perfectly chiseled abs and I look each person in the eye and shake my head and give them a condescending fingerwag. I really think this helps to inspire them to turn their lives around.
I have a couple questions for you. Do you like to party? Who doesn’t, am I right? Do you also like to party so hard that you send your life and the lives of people that you love down an infinite spiral of doom? Ok, that was three questions. Sorry, I didn’t mean to trick you. I’m here to earn your trust. If you answered yes or no to any of these questions, then we’re going to need to talk. And by “talk” I mean I’m going to write and you’re going to read. I’m going to let you in on the meaning of life right here in this very blog post. Ready? The meaning of life is to party, but not too hard. Although everyone’s favorite partier, Andrew W.K., would appear to have you believe otherwise, it’s clear that even he knows when to say “when.” Also, science suggests that biology is the main determinant in who can party a little and who can party till the cows come home (where’d they go?). Therefore, we were not all created equal by the party gods.
I say all this to inspire in you a yearning for the good life. If you often find yourself drunk, high, or lost in a southwestern desert, maybe it’s time for a change. And if you do find yourself wandering through a California desert valley…say…the Antelope Valley, then do what any right minded desert wanderer would do and find some Antelope Valley rehab treatments. Failing to do so would be very unwise, considering the possibility of stumbling into the nest of a Gila monster while in your altered state. I’m sorry if that scared you, but I know from experience that scaring people is the best way to get them out of the desert and into a caring environment.
So if you’re tired of spending your hot, creosote-filled days thirsty and yearning for a cool drink of family acceptance then it’s time you stopped looking for parties in the bottom of cactus bottles and start tumble-weeding your way into the arms of friends.
Have you suffered a jet ski accident?
Life should be fun, but unfortunately most of the fun things in life are not always the safest things. There are a lot of recreational activities that are fun that may seem completely safe but unfortunately accidents do happen no matter how thoroughly safety precautions are taken. Jet skiing for example, seems so much fun and safe because you are surrounded by water. You may be thinking what is the worst that could happen? Unfortunately, jet ski accidents occur every year and injuries can be as severe as death.
Unlike boating accidents that can be covered by insurance and are less likely to occur, jet ski accidents assume a much higher risk. When jet skiing, collisions are the main risk and the cause of the accidents that do occur. Usually people jet ski in pairs and they can collide with another jet ski when riding closely and not paying attention to distance. Often times people jet ski under the influence at the lake or in the ocean and that is also when collisions occur not only with other jet ski riders but with boats or rocks. When there is a collision riders can get pretty banged up and suffer concussions, broken bones, cuts and bruises, and other serious injuries.
If you do feel that you were in a jet ski accident and are not responsible for the property damages or injuries that resulted in the accident you can get in touch with an attorney at Martin Stanley to determine if you have a case. The attorneys at Martine Stanley have dealt with other recreational accidents such as those dealing with boats, ATV and motorcycles. You do not want to be left financially and physically hurt without any legal representation to help you through this difficult process. Find out more about our firm!
Too Many Nights Like This You Might Want To Check Out A Residential Treatment Facilities
Yes, there are a lot of people who have puked after a crazy night of drinking and have not needed to check into a drug treatment rehab. Drinking that much is never a good idea. You usually wake up the next day so hungover that you vow never to drink again in your lifetime. In college a lot of students get wasted like this, but if you are having nights like this all the time and are out of college, you need help.
A Pasadena Rehab Center Is A Nice Place To Kick Off Your Shoes And Get Sober
There is nothing wrong with wanting a little pampering to go with your quest toward sobriety. Who said that you can enjoy the wonderful surroundings of a pasadena rehab center while getting treatment for your problem. Pasadena is amazing. It has some of the best hikes, the view itself is breathtaking and it has some amazing restaurants. You never know, every you get sober you might want to move to Pasadena. Rehab could change your life, literally.
An Outpatient Rehabilitation Center Is For Those Who Can’t Afford Or Take 30 Days off
Whatever you reason, whether it’s financial, family or work if you can’t take off thirty days to enter a residential rehab problem not to worry that’s what an outpatient rehabilitation center is for. You don’t have to move into a place to get well, though thirty days to focus on nothing but your addiction problem is time well spent. You can still get the help you need without checking in. Sometimes people are embarrassed they have a problem and don’t want to enter a clinic because they’re afraid how it may look. Checking in isn’t for everyone. Either way, The Gooden Center can help you through any addiction.
Take the Inner Harmony approach.
Pain is something that we deal with in our lives. Whether it is physical pain or emotional pain it can take a toll on our bodies and minds. When you suffer from a physical injury, you go to your doctor and he provides you with painkillers, something that usually numbs the area or numbs your entire body. When you feel emotional pain like depression, anxiety or any other mental health issue, you again go to the doctors and he prescribes you medication, not to heal your issues but to make you numb from them. Sometimes doctors may advise you to go to physical therapy or other types of therapy, but usually they just go for the quickest solution.
With this type of pain management, people are not getting better. With integrative medicine and a more all-natural approach to health, there does exist drug free pain management in Scranton. At Inner Harmony Wellness Center patients who are experiencing any type of pain do not get this one type fixes all general prescription. They are treated as individuals and are helped to heal from the inside out. Patients choose wellness therapies to heal and to get stronger. Wellness services include:
These therapies will work to restore you energy balance, relieve stress, improve your mood, improve flexibility but just give you an all around health boost. These therapies work to heal the pain but also make you well so you are able to prevent any further pain or injury without the use of drugs and monthly prescriptions that you have to refill that only provide temporary relief not long term healing.
To find out more about drug free pain management and other wellness therapies contact us for your consultation.